Xavier is five months old today! I can't believe how fast he's growing. Everyone told me it would be like this, that he would grow faster than I liked. I just never realized how true that was.
There are lots of things I never realized about being a mom before I had X. I never knew that this would be one of the toughest, most stressful, emotionally draining thing I'd ever do. College...doesn't compare. My state boards? Don't scratch the surface. Culinary school and the restaurant? Please...not even close.
But I never knew how amazing each day would be. I never knew that I could love someone instantaneously and unconditionally. I never ever imagined the joy and unexplainable love X brings to my life everyday. Yes some days are hard. Sometimes I want to pull out what hair he hasn't. There are times I cry just as much as he does. But every single day I experience a love I can't explain. Even on nights when I'm so exhausted I can't stay awake one more moment, I'm happier than I've ever been.
Don't get me wrong, Matt and I were extremely happy before we were blessed with Xavier. But just like the love between the two of us brings a different kind of happy...so does the happiness X brings into our life, it's one that can't be explained or replaced.
I wouldn't trade being a stay at home mom for the world, not even on the worst days. Because the worst days with him alive, healthy and here are better than a good day without him ever would.
So thank you Xavier. You've brought so much joy into our lives. Could you do mommy one little favor?
Please stop growing?
Just for a tiny bit?
2 comments:
I am already feeling that love for Jax! X is such a cutie. And you seem like you are doing such a wonderful job as a mom!! We are going to have to get together sometime!
:) I'm so glad you're feeling that love for Jax, it honestly gets stronger. We do need to get together! I'll let you know the next time I'm in your area and hopefully we can work something out!
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